This post was originally published on this site
Most people I encounter want more. More money. More love. Increased health. A stronger sense of significance. A bigger business. These desires are totally normal and healthy. Human beings are designed at the genetic level to desire expansion and evolution in every area of life. More is the easiest way to measure our growth. That battle for more can easily become an identity, and all-consuming.
When our desires consume us, they can rob us of the exact feelings we are expecting to feel from what we are trying to attain: peace, love, joy, and overall satisfaction in life.
It’s easy to get lost in the chase. I’ve seen it time and again where a person throws themselves into a frenzy trying to alleviate the internal pressure for more, while neglecting the gifts and beauty they have right now. There is a difference between healthy desire and an unhealthy level of desire, which I call craving.
Desire certainly enables attainment while holding space for happiness. But craving is based on fear and a desperation to have needs met to the point of pain and struggle. If not resolved, attainment creates captivity through increasing levels of craving.
Over the last three years, I’ve battled with myself—an inner conflict—between desiring more and being happy with what I have. Part of me wants to just be satisfied with my current state, while the other part just wants to grow aggressively and relentlessly. I feel a fire inside to expand. As much as I try to be satisfied with my current state, I eventually lose the battle with the genetic drive for growth.
This inner desire has created beauty and chaos.
In my recent past, I would steamroll people to get what I craved. I would abuse my family when I didn’t feel the love I wanted. I would neglect every aspect of my life, even my health, to feel successful in a job I didn’t even enjoy but provided financial prosperity.
The craving for more eventually led to my collapse because I was chasing so hard and never took a second to enjoy what I had already accomplished and achieved. And there was so much to celebrate. I was too busy striving for the next thing that would make me happy to feel any amount of happiness. It was all there. I had it all, but mentally and emotionally I was too disconnected to recognize it.
I can trace my inability to recognize the happiness available to me at that moment to one simple oversight: I didn’t appreciate the air I was breathing.
The only thing you NEED right this second is air. You can go days without water, and water falls out of the sky. You can go weeks without eating, and food grows from the ground. You can go long stretches of time without sleeping, and all it takes to sleep is to close your eyes when you are tired.
You can only go minutes without breathing. And that precious resource is neglected because it’s so widely available that it has become taken for granted. We forget that we have everything we NEED right now to be happy. And this realization helped me achieve a complete shift in my overall approach to life and how I relate to every aspect of my life.
To find real security, you need be willing to set aside craving long enough to enjoy the air you breathe for a few minutes to start. Sit still, close your eyes, and focus on the effortlessness of your breathing, and know that all the oxygen you could ever need is available right now. Focus on your breath while contemplating the concept of infinite amounts of oxygen.
You have all the oxygen you need to survive, you actually have everything you need—right now—to survive and experience happiness.
Of course, you’ll have thoughts and emotions from time to time while sitting, but observe those as deep-seated fears waiting to be expressed, and bring yourself back to your breath. Just keep focusing on the infinite amounts of oxygen and the effortlessness of breathing.
Repeat this practice each morning for a concentrated period of time (I shoot for 20 to 30 minutes), and then between activities during the day for shorter periods of time (I shoot for three sets of 1 to 3 minutes).
You’ll experience growth where you focus your energy. If you constantly focus on what you don’t have, you’ll find that everywhere.
If you focus on the abundance available to you, you’ll find that everywhere. Shift your focus to the abundance of oxygen.
When I desire to increase the number of clients I serve, I concentrate on how the abundance of prospects available to me is equal to the amount oxygen available. When I desire increased love, I feel an abundance of love, equal to the infinite amount of air available to fill my lungs. When I desire an increase in financial abundance, I concentrate on money flowing and I inhale deeply.
You can use the ocean as an anchor point, too. I enjoy picturing myself on a boat in the middle of the ocean, with clients, love, and money available as deep as the ocean floor. The anchor to what is infinitely available helps me to not only feel the availability of what I desire, it also enables me to appreciate what I have in the present moment.
And the difference between desire and craving is simply being able to appreciate what you have now with the comfort of knowing that it’s your desires that will pull you toward your soul’s purpose and destiny. Not your cravings. And no amount of attainment will allow you to feel that way if you’re too busy focused on cravings and the idea of happiness in the future.
Happiness, joy, peace, and overall satisfaction are here for you, now.
Mike Kitko, author of “The Imposter in Charge,” is a United States Marine veteran and Fortune 500 executive business leader. He holds an MBA and a coaching certification. He lived with the imposter syndrome and alcoholism for years, partially fueled by his childhood trauma and own self-inflicted neglect. He now helps other executive business leaders avoid collapse in their personal and professional lives.